gosh.
you are so .......
idk what word to use.
the heart is gone.
that wish is gone.
nvrmind...
u simply don understand...
i shall just see how it goes as time passes...

hmmmms,
had the usual boring school today.
hated the first and last periods.
Lit. and Maths.
yuckkkk.
have got a stupid maths test tmr..
and im so gonna study soon.
cos i want FULL MARKS!
urgh...
BADLYYYY.
sigh.
so sad.

i just found out something.
friends can actually out their boy in front of their friends.
i experience that like... thrice?
sighh... perhaps its just natural?
idk...

friendship problems.
family problems.
*** problems. (so long le...)
if i threw temper suddenly...
or i am damn moody towards you,
IM SORRY KAY?
problems have been increasing and increasing...
its not my fault i sudden flare up..
hehs. kay mayb it is.
but, please understand...

sigh...


friends for more than 6 years,
VANISHED...

gosh.
just experienced some mood swings.
heh.

have a very relaxing day until now.
sighh.
woke up at 2 (: (my specialty)
bathed
didnt even have breakfast/luch = brunch
and i went for tuition.
came back.. went to eat dinner with aunty jo.
hahs. was really good food eh.
sometimes i wonder...
does it only mean rich people can have good food?
and the ans is NO!
i mean, everyone have their own lives and own thinking la..
sigh...

im having some family problems these few days.
daddy is ranting like crazy every weekend.
they are even quarrelling about where to have reunion dinner.
and always this time of the yr,
this would happen and im sick of it.
this is something bad about having parents each from a different country.
sigh..
daddy, please la.
we are not your maid or anything.
u keep claiming that we nvr support u and all.
but actually, we are trying our really best to sacrifice for you.
but we give u an inch, u want a meter.
sometimes, think about the person around you before u do another stupid act.
seriously, stand up and groom your company well.
and i promise you, i will do my best in my studies.
please?
dont divorce with mummy?




i want that happy family back...

^^nice picture??
hehs.
painted by my sis...
she is like training for her O's
yeah. she takes art as one of her subject in O-level.
pro right?
and it SO doesnt go down the blood sia.
cause, very obviously, my art kinda suck.
at least better than joyce pek's one eh.
hahahhas.


hmmmmmms.
schools usual boring.
have got homework but im not in the mood to do lehhs.
darnit.
packed my room today.
its so f*cking tiring lor.
me and my sis havent even pack the whole room and we gave up
:X
hehs. so now, its even messier than usual...
OPPPS.
we are so gonna get some scoldings from mummy later.
urgh.

gosh. im missing OLGCIANS.
i miss wearing the convent uniform...
the white blouse and the pinafore...
sighh...
everytime i see a st nicholas girl on the bus or around,
i will always miss it sia.
so darn upset cannns.
sigh.. if my mum didnt object to me going SJC,
i will be happily wearing that uniform and being with all my friends lor..
sigh. so upseting.
im so looking forward to meet all of u on CNY celebration...
sighh.

i played darkness 3 using the guide from pek.
i am so freaking scared lor...
hahahhas.
then i will be like screaming everytime the damn ghost appears.
and my sis says im crazy.
=.=
forget bout her.
wet blanket...
tsk.

im bored people...
is there anything i can do????
tell me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee.
im so gonna ROOOOTTTTTT at home.
sigh. buhbye.

someone changed.
seriously changed.
she just changed...
everyone says so luh.
im kinda upset with her.
fine, u are the one who said that we shld go reccess together forever
and u are the who is backing out now.
u just keep going with ur friend and don care about us.
i dont even know her well okay!
why should i wait in the toilet for her?
nonsensical.
now all u care is about ur boy and ur friend.
we are all past tense.
forget it la.
just dont come back when u all quarreled or broke up.
we are not ur hotel to allow u in and out whenever you want.
we have our own feelings too!
i so fucking disappointed in you la.
go away...


i just had a good good nap and just woke up.
im very hungry (okay, i say that every 1 hour)
sigh...
anyways, im gonna bathe and eat.
buhbye.

hmmmms
i had my very first proper lesson in CO
learnt the cello
wah can hold the stick until the hand pain sia.
darnit.
but i still LOVEEEEE it!
like duh!
:D:D

very tired the whole day.
and tmr is friday!!!!!!!!!!!
whooohoooooooos

heees. i love FRIDAYS because :
- school ends early at 12.25
- there no maths lessons!
- there home economics!
- ITS THE LAST DAY OF THE WEEK!

yayyyer.
i love love love it!

heeeeeees.
anyways, i havent do my homework.
:X
bye!

i saw something that made me really jealous and upset
))):
joyce is still trying to cheer me up but its no use.
trying to get over it all.
but,
i dunno la.
im really upset.
upset till i started crying
))))))))":
im such an idiot.

had the damn swimming today.
as usual, the coach sucked.
then had CCM in the afternoon.
then my malay teacher gonna get her O-Level results tmr...
good luck cikju suhailah. (:
my sissy also getting her chinese one tmr.
GOODLUCK!

took bus home, and the bus wasnt the double decker one ):
so it was so squeezy.
saw terry...
hahs.
suddenly the bus jerked forward.
and i tripped and fell.
okay, not really down on the floor.
but almost!
luckily my knight in shining armour came.
hahhas.
nahh. it was a lady.
she held on to me.
so, i didnt fall...
then was talking to terry, telling him the hw and all.
genie and hannah came up the bus.
like... okay...
second time seeing them this week.
lol...
then when i was about to alight,
the bus jerked again.
i almost fell too.
but this time, it was diff.
it was the aunty infront of me.
lol... she was kinda plum and old...
then she almost fell but this time,
i was the one catching hold of her.
hahahahs.
damn bus driver.

sigh.
still got tuition later...
bye.

cheryl wrote this, with one drop of tear rolling down her face.

hmmmms.
i did my own skin!
yayyyer.
it looks kinda weird though.
heh.

i supposed to do some shitty cod of respect thingy and i practically dont know any shit!
urghhh.
so dead...

tmr have got swimming, peer support programme, chinese conversational malay, tuition.
gawddamn.
im gonna be so f*cking tired luh.
damn!

haas.
went out with zoe, TM, geena, shuxian and "sea wall" (u dun needa know who)
geena, sea wall and shuxian went to watch movie.
so me, TM and zoe went to walk around...
went to FOODFAIR to eat...
then shopped arnd.
we went to minitoons, and zoe bought a pig keychain for $2.95
then we continued to walk around,
met several people...
- recbeckah (the senior one)
- genie yamaguchi
- hannah lin
and fellow schoolmates.
hahahhas
then we were buying sushi
and zoe found out that her pig keychain was missing.
we began walking arnd the whole AMKHUB just to look for a pig keychain
walked till we were so tired...
we stood there, helplessly.
and she was like asking us if we got $$ to let her buy the pig.
then i searched my pocket, found a few cents.
searched the pockets of my bags, found a few cents.
searched my pencilbox, found a dollar.
and taaadaaa.
we got enough $$ for the pig.
hahahahahhas..
i tell you, it was damn funny lah
i was searching all parts of my wallet, bag...
here dig dig,
there dig dig.
and found around $3.
hahhahahas.

then we took our bus...
we and tm walked around since the bus havent come.
then when we go and see, the bus just left.
urghhh.
darn unlucky cannnns.
tsktskkkk.
reached home, bathe, eat.
study, do hw.
and... I DIDNT HAVE MY NAP TODAY!
oooolala. its such an achievement.
past few days, i was always very tired
the bed looked so tempting.
i laid on it and went to lalaland.
tsk
tired tired...
and i freaking tired now...
but i don know what is codes of respect shit.
tsk.
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im lazy to go swimming tmr.
damn coach so....
*shivers*

something happened.
someone made a really rush decision
and im having a really bad feeling bout this.
whatever, its none of my business anyways.
i tried to talk through her.
but she didnt listen
so, theres nth else i can do

joyce is helping me make a blogskin
awww.
i love her man
urgh. nah not lesbian, relax.
hahahs
thanks joyce! :D

good or what?!
i have tuition tmr and i havent do my hw.
lol.
im so good
and its maths!
urghhhhhhhh
maths is killing me one day.

" MATHS KILLED SECONDARY ONE GIRL ONLY AFTER TWO WEEKS OF SCHOOL"
and that would be me.
heeeeee.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmms
im missing someone.
badly.
awww.
will u just forgive me?
urgh.
don give me the silent treatment...
please?
its been so longggg.


missing him.
now and forever.
<3

heees.
school ended at 12.25 today...
but reached home only at 2.
tiring sia.
it was such a hot day.
and i took bus home myself, again.
geena, zoe and teomin are all staying back.
leaving me alone.
so sad! ):

so... class was the same old boring class...
but home economics teacher never come.
):
we sat at the canteen in the end.
which was totally.....
BORING.
didnt have my science textbook with me
so i couldnt do the science homework.
and i was given those dumb crossword puzzles again.
and i realised i suck-ed in it.
my eyes must have gone cocky.
damn... i want my 6/6 eyesight back!
urghh.

i was so bored, i helped terry lim do his chinese homework
nothing else okay!?
its just me being bored and didnt wanna do that stupid crosswords puzzle.
and i prefer chinese, like duh!
so i helped him lor.
seriously nothing else, wanyi, sheila, vernise and aik kein!
don anyhow think think.
tsktsk.

hmmmms. chinese new year is drawing near, say yay to angpaos!
hahahahas.hmmms.
should be going to OLGC on the 6th of feb.
OLGCIANS, i shall confirm the timing first.
but now, keep 6th of febuary free please!
:D:D:D:D
cant wait to see all.
lalalalas
cant wait for someone's wedding, right joyce?!
ahhahahahahhas.
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
im happyyyyyyyyyy

lol.
tskk.
im talking to dear geena on msn now.
and all she does is haolian.
yalayala.
don needa haolian anymore.
i know you very good lah.
sighhh

im sooo nott gonna say the main reason why i sighed...
tskk

hmmmms. today went to chinese orchestra to pick my instrument.
and guess what i picked?

CELLO! :D
hmmmms. weird right?
but... i don wanna play er hu.
neither do i wanna play the qi zi.
so....
i wanted to play the... shit. i forgotten what that instrument is called :X
okay... thennn. wanted to play drums but... nahhhh.
then the double bass is soooo big.
so, CELLO is purrrfectt!
:D:D:D
happy happy.

hmmmmms. stayed till 6.30 today.
so tiring.
took bus back myself ):
so lonely...
hahhahas.
and.... i forgot to bring my wallet today!!!
urghhh. left it in my tuition bag.
i took my pencil box and homework file out to put in my school bag but i forgot of my wallet.
how dumb can i be?

im really irritated.
urghhhhhhhhhhh
fcuk.
forget it.
bye.

its been so long
but the pain hasnt heal.
i just cant get u off my mind, can i?
why? why cant u just at least give me a happy ending?
it was really unbearable.
i really dont know what to do.
i will wait, wont i?
or is everything gonna fade off?
is there a poisoned apple,
which erases off all the unhappy memories?
is there a clock,
which i can turn back time and do the things i should?
is there a fairygodmother,
to help me make these wishes come true?
i dont know.
but i know im foolishly waiting and waiting.
till the time i get something from you
be it a sweet new start or a horrible bad end,
i will face the fact.
but first, tell me the answer?
sigh.

If i knew it would be the last time
that i'd see you fall asleep,
i would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the lord, your soul to keep.

If i knew it would be the last time
that i see you walk out the door,
i would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for more.

If i knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
i would video tape each action and word,
so i could play them back day after day.

If i knew it would be the last time,
i could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "i love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW i do.

If i knew it would be the last time,
i would be there to share your day,
well i'm sure you'll have so many more,
so i can let this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "i love yous ",
and certainly there's another chance
to say our "anything i can do's?"

But just in case i might be wrong,
and today is all i get,
i'd like to say how much i love you
and i hope we never forget,

tomorrow is not a promise to anyone,
young or old alike,
and today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved ones tight.

So if you are waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
for if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day.

That you didnt take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish,

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
that you love them very much
and you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "i'm sorry," "please forgive me,"
"thank you" or "its okay"
and if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.



An inspirational poem.
FROM ME, TO YOU.

Whoohoos! I have got $$$!
:D
This indeed helped me when I was broke.
Hahahahs.
I got my merit bursary!
$200!
Hees.
Im happy!
Geena got it too!
Awww. We are such good friends. :D
Hmmmms.
$200.
Taking out $150 to spend.
$50 to my bank.
$150…
Hmmmms. Giving $10 ea to my family members.
Daddy mummy sissy and granny = $40.
Yeahh, we always do this…
Like when my sissy earns $$, my granny gets her interest, my mummy gets her bonus…
Then we will give any amt to each.
And I gave $10!
I know im a good girl :D
The res of $110 shall be all mine.
Awww. Im so motivated to score well and get more of this…
But if only I got the top 10% one…
That’s even better mann.

Sigh. Woke up early to go get the money..
So tiring…
Ok… so I reached there…
Went to register and went to sit at my place.
Then it was like so soon, it was my turn to go.
Urghh.
You know la… I got stage fright one.
I queued up at the stage there and slowly slowly made my way up.
And all I know was that im next.
Urgh.
Hate it!
Emcee called my name, I walk up to the Dr Balaji.
Shook his hand, smiled at him. Said thank you, grabbed my cheque from him and walked away.
I DID IT!
Got back at my sit.
Still trembling.
Aww how I hate going up stage.
Ass.

Sigh,So sian.
Still uploading kit ju’s birthday party pics on friendster cos my dear Amanda ang wants the pics.
Amanda, u owe me a meal.

Anyways,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEENA!

Awww.
Had a fun fun fun time today!!!
Woke up at 11pm (counted really really early)
And was a good grand-daughter, I followed my grandmother to the doctor.
She had some rashes and all..
She was so scared when she saw the rash.
Hahhahas.
My cute cute grandmother.
Then I went for brunch…
And lalala (lazy to type :X)
Then was late! (yupp. AGAIN!)
I reached home around 1.20.
I sat on my sofa… so tired.
Then bathe…change and its 2 alr!
I was late!!!
Then faster pack all my swimming stuff and all…
And met geena at 2.10.
Took mrt and met kit ju at KFC.
Bought bubble tea :D

Went to kit ju;s hse.
Met hjoyce there
Played with her adorable dogs and her cute brother.
Then went to swim!
But… sadly… it was raining.
The security guard blew his whistle when I got into the pool
= =
So I came back up, WET!
Urghh.
Then we went sauna.
They 3 ah… sigh.
Lousy la.
Keep going in and out.
Then there was this aunty also.
Hahhahas.
And guess what!
I sweat a lot!
A lot a lot! Seriously.
And I was so happy.
Went back to swim…
Amanda Ng came…
Went up to bathe and came down to BBQ!
I was the ‘chef’ all I did the whole day was to cook the chicken wings, prawns, satay, hotdog and so on so forth.
LOL!
Huiwen and zoe came…
Then Amanda ang, cherisse and Rachael came
And cos the wings look so tempting.. u know.. golden brown… (of course! I cooked it :D) I went to eat.
And could stop.
Ate around 4 in the end I think.
And of course ate my favourite, PRAWNS!
Hahhas. It was all so fannntassticcc.
YUMMY!
Went games room.
Camwhore there with Amanda ang, risse and rae.
Fun fun
Then went up, played with dogs again…
And cut the cake!
Its like.. wonderful!
Its ice cream cake with a picture of a baby Winnie pooh on top from swensense.
Damn shiok!
Ate the cake.
Talked in the room and it was time to go…
Actually wanna stay over one lor.
But tmr have to go take my bursary :D
So… sigh…
Anyways, met up with my fellow good good friends made everything so wonderful.
They are still the best!
Now and forever!
Thanks :
Kitju,joycepek,amandaang,Rachael,cherisse,zoeng,huiwen,amandang!
And lastly,
A big big HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST DEAEST KIT JU!
Im really really tired after all the swimming,cooking and fun.
Nights.
*yawnnn*

guess what.

im broke.
seriously broke.
sighhhh...

tmr... kit ju's bday party.
guess what.
i havent bought her a pressie.
but i will try my best tmr morning.
urgh. daddy in bad mood.
don dare to ask him for permission leh.
how??? im scared..
sighhh.


hmmmms. lets see.
these few days so far...
is quite okay la.
still have to get a little more used to it...
when we greet the tchr when he/she is leaving, i will say "thank you and god bless you" hahahs. when its only "thank you tchr..." so on so forth.
sighh.

we have stupid swimming lessons on wed. sian la.
then afternoon got CCM - chinese conversational malay.
and at night, i have tuition.
)): very tiring lehh.
urghhhh.

sigh. i dunno what CCA to die lehhh.
how???
dammit.

waiting for my daddy to cool down...
sigh.

guess what?

im trying to go on a rebel.
my parents are such assholes,they make me don feel like studying.

everything share share share. share with that stupid sis who calls me a chicken when i didnt even call her any names.
so mean la...
ASS!

sigh... i really wanna study hard.
i have been taking down notes and studying okayy.
i fell once during PSLE and i know i have regretted...
so i must not let history itself...
but, i don feel like studying cos of my parents.
they can make me so mad, i don have the mood to study.
and since they don care about me, (they only cares abt my sis cos she is having her GCE O-LEVELS! bias. but i tried to understand but they are just... like i not arnd them like that!) so why should i study and show them the results?

whats the point of being smart when i aint even getting any support or anything from my family?
forget it.
im trying to go on a rebel but... i dunno...



i dunno what CCA to join la.
asssssssss.
why must go CCA? so irritating...

im not taking sports alr.
plainly cos im lazy to go for the auditions and all.
so...
urgh.
MAYFLOWER SUCKS! ):

and yessss.
im still anti social.
i ain have any friends.

something has been bugging me from the weekends till today, this hour, this minute.

I HAVE A REALLY BIG PIMPLE!
BIGGGGGGGG.
and its at my nose there.
urghhh. ):
ugly nose.
first the stupid chickenpok mark.
now this ass pimple.
i have been trying not to scratch so that it will go away slowly...
but its really itchy...
urgh...

to end this post,
i tell u...

theres this cute guy in my class ((:
even geena says so okayyyyy.
(((:

bye.
im a lonely person...

hmmms.

secondary school life began.
not much teaching yet though...

and guess what?
im anti-social!
))):
yupp. i am. so sad right?
sigh.
but of course, at least made a few new friends la.
but!!!!
i still go with zoe and geena for reccess!
WHOOHOOS!

yupp. and it would be very fun when we eat together. like... there is more subjects to talk about lor.

today got CCA exhibition...
hmmmms... didnt know to join which one...

we can make 3 options and then the teacher will choose...
like how u choose ur sec school like that lah.
and...
i've made my decision!
say YAY!
hahahhas, don laugh okay?

))):

1st... modern dance. i tell u, the dance is gggrrreeaaatttttt!
really nice... they dance hip hop, ballet and all sorts of crap.
hahhahas.

2nd... chinese orchestra.
i doubt my fellow pri mates would b shocked... im a chi-na kia afterall.
((:
no lah. its cause my sis learns the guzheng. (if you dunno what is it, go find on the web =.=) and i practically have one of it in my house.
so, dont want it to be a white elephant, maybe i will take up chinese orchestra and play the guzheng lor.

3rd... badminton.
cause someone keep asking me to join.
OH! zoe is joining too!
hahhahas. who knows...

yeah yeah... laugh laugh... but... this is just a thinking la.
still got stupid auditions to go...
and i still got about 2 weeks to finalise my decision...
so... NO WORRY!
hahahahas....


hmmmmms. im missing my primary mates. ):
i wanna go back and see all of you!
OH! OLGCIANS who graduated last yr, er... we are thinking of going back to olgc during chinese new year or something like that...
further news shall be updated :D

anyways,
takecare.
godbless